Embracing Singlehood in a World That Disowns It
How do we begin designing a world built with singles in mind?
I’ve become a bit obsessed with the state of singlehood and its evolution beyond today (those who have read my previous pieces on relationships, and the importance of friendships, may not see this as a surprise).
From solo-living to intentionally childfree existences, the emergence of this multidimensional cohort is increasingly fascinating to me. Most importantly, the growth and establishment of this segment has deep implications for the future of consumerism and I’m perplexed as to why the marketing industry has been so slow to catch on.
As a brand strategist, a good amount of my work focuses on understanding shifting notions of identity in America. In my projects I highlight how the process of labeling a new identity cohort can be tedious and uncomfortable, as it typically starts from a place of “othering” or comparing against an established norm. Historically, labels are assigned to new identity cohorts which means they don’t always have the agency or ability to name themselves. Eventually the cohort adopts that label for the sake of simplicity and endeavors to be recognized and included in a the society they exist in.
This is the current state of singlehood and solo-living.
For context:
- Singlehood- the state of being single and/ or unmarried
- Solo-living- the domestic situation of individuals who choose to live alone
- Childfree- having no children by choice
- Singles cohort- includes individuals who have been divorced, widowed, or never married; individuals who may have had children but are not currently in a relationship; individuals who may prefer to never be in a relationship.
In 2021, I wrote a piece entitled Unconventional Women with no Road Maps . Inspired by my own experiences, I lamented the fact that there were seemingly no blueprints or an established group of women who, like myself, were making lifestyle choices that went against societal norms. Today, that is no longer the case.
The solo-living, singlehood movement has grown and is beginning to find its way into the cultural conversation with leaders like Dr. Bella DePaulo and Rebecca Traister. For me, finding these women, and others like them was a relief. Reading information that reflects your life choices can be an affirming and empowering experience.
In this process I also learned, like many trends that exist today, this space did not appear over night and has been slowly building over time. It’s important to note this because for Black women, this trend has been a part of their lived experiences for a while. In America, Black women are known for being uncredited trendsetters with lifestyles and habits that eventually trickle down to shape the demands of the mainstream. This inevitably means that Black women are almost always ahead of the curve.
While singlehood in the Black community has historically been tied to negative narratives of promiscuity (baby mamas), irresponsibility (welfare queens) and undesirability, there have been lesser-known, alternative texts written overtime and as early as the 1970s. Today, modern scholars like Kris Marsh are emerging as leaders on Black singlehood noting in her work, The Love Jones Cohort: Single and Living Alone in the Black Middle Class, how Black women are not only navigating singlehood but are also pioneers of the space. Jessica Moormon explores what she refers to as Strategic Singlehood in Socializing Singlehood: Personal, Interpersonal, and Sociocultural Factors Shaping Black Women’s Single Lives, which illuminates how Black women are intentionally choosing to be, and remain single. Beyond academic scholars, lifestyle influencers like Sheila Kay, Amani Richardson, and Dominque Baker, have begun setting the tone for what a flourishing single, childfree life can look like in real time.
Seeing singlehood and/or childfree existences through the lenses of successful Black women was a key missing part of my puzzle. But just as quickly as I was relieved to find them, something else caught my attention.
When delving into the space, it is easy to become overwhelmed with the amount of information around how much harder life is for those choosing to go it alone. Most of these pieces address financial barriers that single women may face across their lifetimes and within their careers. For single men on the other hand, the topics center on loneliness, suicide and depression.
No matter the angle, countless think pieces have been published as a warning sign for those who may desire to buck tradition and do life on their own terms. This is because singlehood is still frowned upon by society despite its prominent presence in culture for decades. As Anne Kingston notes, shifts in societal perspectives on singledom have failed to evolve with the times:
“More than 40 years later we still don’t know what to make of unmarried women — and arguably know less today than two generations ago. In fact, we’ve seen a backslide in their cultural depiction….Despite their demographic might, singles remain a shadow population misunderstood and ignored by policy-makers and the culture writ large…”
This is a clear case of a cultural shift being powered by consumers in a society that refuses to acknowledge or accommodate that shift. Instead of moving forward, we’ve become stuck in a cyclical conversation that positions women as the enemy, as tragic and/or desperate, or as the culprits of society’s downfall for choosing an alternative way forward. The result is a population with unprecedented political and monetary power that is perpetually overlooked and/ disregarded.
While everyone is focused on declining marital stats, very few seem to be ideating solutions for a cohort that is likely here to stay. While organizations like Unmarried Equality are seeking to bring attention to this space, there remains major gaps in the marketplace as single/childfree consumers find that they are forced to experience life as an exception versus the rule.
This made me curious.
How does one build a comfortable existence in a world that was clearly designed for couples and families? What could a more singles-inclusive world look like for people like me?
I spoke with 25 singles spanning the ages of 19 to 60 to understand topics that were top of mind for them today and in the future. From desiring more adult-only experiences to anxieties around navigating large milestone purchases on their own, the landscape of ideas was vast but the sentiments around remedies for their concerns felt mostly hopeless. It seemed that most had resigned themselves to a life of financial stress and tension with no real answers in sight.
From their feedback, four central pillars of concern emerged: expenses, ownership, experiences and parenthood.
Touch of Whit Creative used these pillars as inspirational guideposts to generate new ideas and ways of thinking to inform the construction of a more singles-inclusive world.
Rethinking Expenditures focuses on reexamining the financial structures, routines and expectations that consumers must navigate with a goal of ideating more single-inclusive financial solutions in savings, taxes and retirement.
Reimagining Home Ownership highlights the importance of reconsidering the meanings we associate with permanence and impermanence and what that may mean for the future of home and home ownership in a rising rental market.
Redesigning Experiences emphasizes the importance of spaces created with singles in mind so that they can exist freely and without feeling the need to make themselves less visible or attach themselves to others to avoid taboos.
Reframing Parenthood encourages new ways to consider how the present state of nurturing can evolve into a societal resource and superpower- especially in a time where the need eldercare will be on the rise and childfree millennials may be the answer we don’t realize we need.
From changing antiquated systems to inventing new ways of working, each pillar is infused with thought starters and potential solutions for brands and marketers to begin building a better way forward. The goal of the future innovations for singles should be to prioritize the needs of all consumers across the spectrum of relational attachment- singles, families and couples.
For budding, marginal concepts to move to the spotlight, an inflection point is required, often a result of a cultural shift or sudden influx of interest. I believe we at nearing the top of that inflection point for the state of singlehood. Brands and marketers that don’t take note or plan ahead for what will inevitably be our reality may find themselves falling behind with a segment that will increasingly be determining their bottom lines.
